Today in the Story of Becoming, Bracken Tide Emberfox learns how to swim by taking the advice of Suzie, an oyster who doesn’t swim at all.

Where we left off...Suzie began to help Bracken figure out how to use his tail to swim.

Note: The characters in this story are sculptures I’ve made by upcycling coffee pods and a bottle.

If you prefer to start at the beginning of the story, here’s the link.

We do whatever we can in order to create the forward movement we desire. And yet, that first indication of movement can feel so scary. We must keep moving.

Our fear showed up simply to let us know things have changed to something new and unfamiliar. Fear is not sophisticated enough to know that this is all part of our intended plan. Ignore its ignorance. It knows not what it speaks.

Our becoming is made up of a bunch of smaller motions. We mustn’t be tricked into thinking that one little thing we did will carry us far into the future. It will carry us only to the next necessary movement.

We often expect the second motion to feel exactly like the first. It won’t. No two experiences or movements will feel identical.

But when we embrace curiosity instead of expectation, there is no disappointment. There are simply more questions we move toward in our quest to gain answers.

Calmly and intentionally, we keep moving our tails. There is no need for a frantic pace. Our real movement is calibrated to the level of attention we give to ourselves, and to the movement itself.

A frantic pace is at complete odds with attentiveness. We must not fall for the illusion of speed.

We all need a Suzie. Our own personal hype person who encourages us, and means it.

Stating the obvious, Suzie isn’t a fish like Bracken. It may seem logical to think that our greatest source of support will come from people who are just like us. Often, it comes from people who would never dream of doing what we want to do. Suzie cannot swim but that doesn’t mean she can’t be of help.

Some people (and Suzie) have learned to protect their generous, loving heart with a hardshell exterior. When they open it for us, it is a sacred act.

We must handle them with care, and never forget they are a part of our story of becoming.

It helps to have a rallying cry to use at particularly challenging times as we strive to become who we want to become. We need words that immediately kick us into high gear and prevent us from stopping our forward momentum.

It’s worth investing the time and energy into finding a rallying cry that is truly motivating. It doesn’t need to be a spiritually sounding mantra. It doesn’t need to be serious or sacred either. It just needs to work.

For me, “Swish, swish, swish like a fish, fish, fish” has just the right amount of energy and light-heartedness to counter the heavy weight of decisions and effort.

And so it shall be for us. One day, we will be doing it.

Right beside us will be our own version of a starry-eyed Suzie, excitedly talking in exclamation marks and squeals instead of words.

Let our achievement land.

Before we quickly look for the next goal, let this moment land in the deepest part of our ocean.

Are you a “Suzie” for someone in your life? Let Bracken swim on over to them:

Share

Are you going to adopt Suzie’s rallying cry, “Swish swish swish like a fish fish fish” or do you have another one you use? I’d love to hear it!

Leave a comment

Subscribe to follow along. Bracken will swim into your inbox every other week.

Subscribe now

Bracken, Suzie and I are cheering you on for own becoming.

Carolyn (the coffee pods lady)

Today we see how Bracken Tide Emberfox learns how to navigate new waters. And of course, the reflections are provided for us humans.

You don’t have to start at the beginning of the story to follow along now. But if you want to, here’s the link.

Where we left off...Bracken trusted that squishy heart of his, and opened his eyes underwater. He found himself in front of an oyster named Suzie Sandarelegram.

Bracken arrived in the ocean because of his imagination. Suzie asked him, “Did you imagine being in the deepest part of the ocean?”

Our imagination is a wonderful tool to use before we make our first move into a new situation. It literally is the image in our mind’s eye that we move toward.

But it would be naive to assume that in the actual manifestation, it will turn out exactly as we imagine. Even worse would be to beat ourselves up for being wrong. I’m guilty of that one. I say if Bracken can cut himself some slack, so can we.

When it comes to acknowledging feelings for a new friend, or potential friend, someone has to go first. I’m so proud of Bracken for finding the courage to ‘fess up to Suzie.

While there is a higher risk of putting ourselves on the line like that, the rewards can be so sweet.

New environments often require us to acquire new skills. When someone, like Suzie, asks if we know how to do something, we do ourselves no favour by pretending we know what we’re doing when we really haven’t got a clue.

They’re asking for a reason. They may be able to help us, if we’re truthful. Being honest with ourselves and with others about what we know and don’t know how to do.

Isn’t that the truth? Just because we have the internal or external resources available to us, doesn’t mean we know how to employ them.

For instance, I know I have the ability to learn a new language and become bilingual. Theoretically.

But when it comes down to actually learning it, my first question is, “How?”

“How?” seems to be the springboard we leap from or the wall we crash into. There is no “becoming” anything without getting to and beyond the how.

Sometimes we don’t need an expert. We just need someone who is observant, aware and helpful.

A simple reminder. When we need help, ask. We all know this but why, oh why, do we need to be reminded? Or is that just a “me” thing?

Every new movement first starts with our awareness and attention.

Every single movement.

“Morning pages” is my go-to method for becoming more aware and paying attention. What’s yours?

Leave a comment

My Reflection

I am moving into the unknown in a few areas of my life. As many of you know, I only joined Substack as a replacement for an artist website. Since joining, many have encouraged me to pursue writing a book. Well, more than one book, actually. There is the Mandala Tarot card deck suggestion, the memoir, and this…The Story of Becoming.

Just like Bracken, I have the fins and tail, but I don’t know how to use them. And “Writing” a book is a totally different thing than “Publishing” a book, which are really two learning curves, not one.

I’m at the stage of imagining my next steps, just like Bracken was when Oren told him to close his eyes and imagine his new world.

Where are you at in moving into the unknown? Do you have the fins and tail looking for your version of Suzie to help you figure out what to do with them?

Leave a comment

I create one new article every Friday.

The Story of Becoming, alternates with

Creativity Notes, which includes an essay on my creative journey, and studio updates on coffee pod mandalas and installations.

If you have subscribed already, thank you. Truly.

If you haven’t, this little purple button allows you to follow along:

Subscribe now

Thank you,

Carolyn, the coffee pods lady

We will meet new people when we enter new waters. The dialogue often begins in a seemingly shallow way even if we are living in the deepest waters we’ve ever been in.

But is it shallow?

Let’s take, “Where are you from?”

Do we all really think someone is asking us about a geographical location? Or isn’t it really a question that mouths ask while hearts are saying, “I’d like to get to know you better”?

Leaning on the unspoken words makes the shallow conversation starter feel instantly more meaningful, doesn’t it?

Relationships take time to build but they all start the same way. With our desire to get to know one another. Heart to heart.

How we answer, “Where are you from?” is also more revealing than we may think. Do we attach a story to it? Is that story useful, or is it time for a rewrite?

Ohh, that wonderful feeling to find an empathetic soul to hear our story. ❤️

How did we end up in our new “becoming”?

Have we asked ourselves that question and did we really hear the answer?

When we do ask ourselves how we ended up in our new becoming, there will be a moment of light amidst the darkness.

Maybe that’s where we need to place our focus. On the light.

What is the light in our story of becoming? It’s our heroic moment that needs to first be acknowledged, and then celebrated. Maybe not with pom-poms and rah-rah-rah, but with a deep, well-deserved heavy sigh of relief. We did it. Take that feeling in.

The reference of “her friends became my aunties & uncles” are a nod to all of you following Bracken’s story. ❤️🙂🙏

Even if it feels like we are all alone, we’re not.

“Becoming” is a verb.

No matter our past — where we may have not had any control — we always have control in how we reframe it.

Our story isn’t finished yet.

We are becoming, and this time, we have more control over our future than we did back then.

Imagination.

Is.

Everything.

If we can imagine the details of our becoming, we can move toward it. The clearer we make that imagining, the easier our becoming will be.

Imagination is a huge gift we are all given at birth.

Why were we given this capacity?

Really, we must ask ourselves this question!

Since every person — all 8+ billion of us — were given this gift, doesn’t that fact alone suggest we should use it?

Oren knows things.

Bracken got to his new place by using his imagination. So it will be for us.

Sometimes we end in much deeper waters than we ever intended. And certainly deeper than we ever wanted. It can sound like, “I’m completely in over my head”.

While it’s hard to believe when we are in that moment, it always passes. Whether it’s from adapting, or from moving on, we swim through it.

The story continues…

New to the story? Start here.

Isn’t it wonderful when we finally start to adapt to our new situation and experience a bit of safety again? The tension starts to leave our body and our smile returns.

We have that moment when we don’t reach out for someone else’s opinion. We check in with our own heart, listen to no one else, and trust.

It’s going to happen along our journey of becoming. We see things we’ve never seen before. We don’t even know what to call them because they are so unfamiliar to us.

Others may be surprised that we don’t know their world. They see a grown person instead of the inner newborn experiencing something for the first time.

It’s okay not to have the answers. It takes awhile to get a sense of things. Give yourself some grace for the baby steps you’ve taken. They may not be that “baby” after all.

Rather than pretend “we got this” when we haven’t got a clue, explaining our situation to others can open up their minds and hearts. Expressed vulnerability is usually met with understanding and kindness in safe environments.

Notice how Bracken doesn’t even think twice about his new identity as Bracken Tide Emberfox. He’s fully incorporated it so much that he doesn’t even notice.

That’s the same for us. We likely won’t even notice our past steps that felt huge at the time.

Think of the first time you sat behind the steering wheel learning to drive. Terrified. Now, you get in the car and off you go without ever thinking of it. Sometimes with a coffee in one hand, music blaring, while you think of your grocery list en route.

The sneaky thing about becoming is it happens, bit by bit. We slowly adapt and often do not get the big hoorah moment.

Every once in awhile. We need to look behind us to see how far we’ve come. It will be further than we think. I don’t know why.

But I did write about my personal experience with that here:

The story continues…

New to the story? Start here.

We aren’t meant to go it alone. I say this even as an introvert. If help appears, accept it. Graciously. And the side message is, sometimes we need to get really good at following until we know what we’re doing.

Sometimes, the next step seems impossible.

In the words of Moshe Feldenkrais, creator of The Feldenkrais Method (a somatic learning system):

“The goal is to make the impossible, possible

The possible, easy

And the easy elegant”.

The power of imagination. We came into the world with it because we need it! It’s the first step in any movement.

The famous quote, “A problem well-defined is half-solved” is true, but I’d also say this. A movement well-imagined, is half way into being.

Imagine it first, with our whole selves then start the movement, gently.

And this is the moment where we leap, or take the plunge, depending on which metaphor strikes your fancy. Either way, this is it!

We can never go wrong with taking a deep breath after we’ve taken the leap.

And here we are. Noticing all of the new sensations of our becoming.

It’s okay to be still now. To simply take it all in. Become immersed in all of the new sensations of our new world.

The story continues…

New to the story? Start here.

It’s the most natural thing in the world to have feelings of missing our old self or life, even when we set out to change it. I don’t know why. Perhaps the emotional distance we’ve travelled gives us a new truthful perspective. Maybe there really are parts of it that we’ll miss. Parts that we can’t bring with us.

There comes a time when even if we were able to turn around and go back, we would no longer fit in. We have experienced new life and possibility. We cannot go back, even if that was home, and we don’t yet have our new one.

The truth often does hurt when we’re not ready to hear it. It’s still the truth, though.

We need to find a new home. We need to define it eventually. Initially, we simply need to just wrap our heads and our hearts around what home means to us now. The definition and sense of it will have changed from our former place.

Get ready for doubt to want to creep in. Be careful not to bite. It’s a lure designed to pull you out from where you want to go.

Our bodies know things. Our minds can, and often do, betray us with falsehoods. But our body? Therein lies the truth.

Bessel van der Kolk has written beautifully on this in 'The Body Keeps the Score' if you ever want to dive deeper into how our physical selves hold onto our history.

We often know what we want before we know how to get it. We must learn — and this is part of our becoming.

The story continues…

New to the story? Start here.

It takes a bit of time to grow into a new identity. Sometimes, we just have to sit with it for awhile, and hold it in our heart.

Isn’t that a wonderful feeling! That day when we are surprised by all of the baby steps we’ve taken. When they have added up to something quite large and magnificent.

The day comes when no further movement can happen without a change. Without leaving something behind to arrive somewhere new. And that change is usually scary. Self doubt can creep in. Questions seemingly come out of no where. It’s just fear talking.

Even after we left our old selves behind, we will come across people or things that bring us right back to yesterday. And with time, yesterday feels better than the current state of unknown.

We must pay attention. Use all of our senses to navigate the change. Listen and look for people who hold wisdom and can help us during this major transition.

(This was the day I realized that I really was building a story. A cartoon for adults. I didn’t know it until Oren had to speak!)

Again, memories call to us. Temptations arise to take us back to what we knew rather than this strange new place.

We must ask ourselves, who is showing up for us? It’s not necessarily the friends we were there for in their hour of need. It’s often new people. Often unexpected. And sometimes, someone who is both familiar to our old environment or self, as well as our intended one.

The story continues…

New to the story? Start here.

Do you know that moment in our becoming where we get a taste that this is really happening? This is that taste.

Oh, that crucially important need. We are hardwired for the need to belong. It’s often even the catalyst of our new becoming. That desire to be with people who get us because they are like us. Becoming more of who we really are, without all of the social conditioning that changed us to fit in. It’s an important part of the story of our becoming. It will come up over and over again.

Names carry history. For years, I used to run Wild Woman Weekends and each woman gave herself a wild woman name. I was then, and still am, amazed at the power of a name. Do we have to give ourself a name to help through hard times? It really can help!

Forward movement. It’s an important thing to become aware of and to cultivate. What will move me forward, even through the inevitable currents.

That moment of becoming where we did a thing. It’s ours. And then it is immediately followed by the thought, “now what?”. This is that moment.

This is a personal moment for me. That moment when I feel I’m not creating so much as co-creating. Through synchronicity, I am being guided, led, helped somehow. Call it whatever you like. I believe it is different for everyone.

This speaks to the importance of ritual in our story of becoming. I simply wouldn’t be able to move forward without it. Rituals anchor me so I can feel steady earth beneath my feet and leap from there.

The story continues…

New to the story? Start here.

Our hearts often holds on to things to take with us as we leave one stage of life and enter another. Photos, memorabilia, important moments captured in “things”.

Mindlessly living in the past versus consciously taking important memories of it forward is an important distinction we all must make in our “becoming”.

At some point in our becoming, we change. We start to look more like our future selves and less like who we once were.

And as we start to become more like our future selves, nostalgia often presents itself. The yearning, aching feeling for what once was. I’ve noticed that nostalgia only shows up for me after the point of no return. That feeling that it will never be again. Ever.

This is to state the importance to remember to look up. See the sun, feel the warmth. Notice the things around us that make the present moment beautiful. We can get so caught up in wanting the completed version that we miss important joys and pleasures along the way.

This is a reminder. Ask your heart first. Listen to what it says. That’s all.

Milestones need to be celebrated. Creating happy surprises for ourselves along the way is a way to see our own stages of becoming. Without them, it can feel like no progress is being made. I think it’s important to celebrate every bit of progress you can.

The story continues…

New to the story? Start here.

In human terms, we become aware of where we are. When the catalyst for change appears, we act on it. This could be driven from an internal impulse or an external event. Either way, we are found.

Change requires self care. The greater the change, the greater the self care required. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a bubble bath or a pampering treat, but it could be. It’s worthwhile to think about what self care looks like. It’s different for all of us.

Kindness to yourself. Kindness to others. There will be no “becoming” without it.

At some point, we decide to start again. We do what we need to do to create an emotional blank canvas. We find a place for memories so they help us move forward rather than keeping us stuck.

Our story of becoming necessitates our heart-centred approach. Our mind will always have an opinion. Our heart will always have our truth.

A gentle reminder. Start with the heart. For everything.

Our hearts are wonderful things. It holds our passions, desires, dreams, and goals. It couldn’t hurt to make it bigger and give these things room to grow.

When we listen, our heart tells us how we want to be in this world. What’s working, what’s not working. What changes we want. First, we need to ask. Then we need to listen. We all have different ways to have this conversation. Mine is morning pages.

The story continues…